No one wants to hear that people think they are parenting wrong. But it is especially painful and irritating when you have thought, studied, prayed, discussed with family and friends and done everything else you can think of before finalizing your decision and then you're told you don't know what you're doing, you're going to hurt your kid or that everything you've done is in vain because you are wrong anyways.
I am pretty sure all of my readers know by now, but next month Vinny is starting school. But he will not be going to a brick and mortar school with standard classes, he will be attending Connections Academy; an on-line charter school program.
We started looking into this option a year ago because Vinny seemed so far ahead of other kids his age. We looked into it and found that in Oregon, barring absolute genius IQ, a child cannot legally start school until they are 5 years old. While this was a disappointment, we took it upon ourselves to start his education anyways, through a very simplified home school process. It wasn't daily, but we tried to focus his life around learning even more than he already had on his own.
We spent the next year researching on-line charter, home school and standard school options for the 12-13 school year. Nothing looked right to us except CA. We found out what Vinny was expected to know before or learn during Kindergarten and we were shocked. He was well beyond what they said he should know AFTER his first year.
So I did what any parent would, I looked into a placement test, to see if I was just overly proud of son or if he really was that far ahead. According to the placement test, his knowledge is equivalent to about half way through the 1st grade already.
Now, in Oregon, he cannot legally be a 1st grader until he is 6. So public school was out as option as I knew that even with the best teachers, he would grow bored and likely stagnate. Home school was never really on our minds as I was not the best student and focusing can be hard for me with all I have going on right now.
So after all that, we decided, proudly and without hesitation, that we would enroll him in CA this year. While he is legally a kindergartener, all the work they sent us is at a 1st grade level. We got it 2 1/2 weeks ago and he is already 3 weeks into the work books and other non PC material. And school doesn't even for start in 3 weeks. And he is loving it!
But the reason I am writing this is not to brag, or even detail the process. It is to educate others on my choice. Despite feeling like we put a lot of effort into this choice and knowing it's what's best for Vinny, we have received a lot of negativity from people. People who seem to also be sorely misinformed on the school and programs, yet feel they have a right to berate me for it anyways.
Now, not everyone has been nasty, some, like my Mom, seemed to think this was just home school. But it is not, I am not the teacher, more like a teacher's aid. Vinny has a real teacher who teaches him and about 20-30 other kids, he will use video and audio to communicate with her. She will check his work and relay any possible issues to me. I will mark his attendance, but they will check is on-line time to be sure. He will be graded, he will have real work. Heck, we got a huge box of books and workbooks that are the same brand Salem-Keizer Schools use.
My Mom was also worried about Vinny's social interactions (hence the title of this post) as were many others. But CA worries about their social growth as well. They will gather on-line together, have filed trips together and class projects and assignments. They encourage kids working together in group settings.
Exercise was also an expressed concern. We were shipped a kids yoga DVD and a jump rope and I can assure you (as can my floors) that even in the dead of winter, this kid does not lack activity.
The worst things came from others. In an argument, after expressing the reasons I have listed here, someone said, "None of that matters. None of that makes me think you know better than the teachers." Which told me they knew nothing about CA and it's programs, and they clearly didn't truly listen to a word I had to say. They had made of their opinion based on whatever they had heard and chose to judge me and my parenting on that alone. I was told by others that I would stunt him socially, that I was making him an idiot. That I was a moron for even considering it.
But the very worst I heard was not directed at me. Another mom who's son will be in the 1st grade class with Vinny, was threaten by her ex-husband. He threaten to seek sole custody of their kids if she enrolled them. He didn't research, he didn't think it through, he jumped the gun and hurt her and their kids who are excited about this school year.
The reason I am putting this out there is not to bash anyone or attack anyone, but to enlighten people on this choice and let people know that there are other options. If you want to know more, or doubt what I say, visit their site, request a brochure, go to a info event. Please, educate yourselves before thinking that I or anyone else is making the wrong call.
He is my son, and I want what is best for him. And that is what I am doing.
http://www.connectionsacademy.com/home.aspx
(P.s My Mom is on board now, FYI, and it's all good. Or I never would have listed who it was I talked to!)
5 comments:
People can be so rude! We took our Will to his four year old check up and got a lecture about not having him in daycare. Apparently he needs to spend 6 hours a day away from me in order to become an acceptable person? Social skills are learned in the home based on how they see their parents interacting. You know what is best for your son!
Kayli,
Believe me, I know. I got a lot of that as well. My Mom decided to pay to have Vinny in daycare once a week to help him socialize, but it's my sister-in-law's and he gets to spend the time with his cousins.
But a lot of people have an opinion on how you should raise your kids,I'll admit I am guilty of it, but most of the time I try to bite my tongue and say nothing, or if I know the parent well enough, I word it politely. Unless of course it's flat out wrong like beating a kid with a belt.
As you said, he is your child and you have researched, prayed, and checked this out before deciding to go this route. I may not have chosen this path, but I certainly cannot fault your decision or be "nasty" about it and make you and Vinny feel like they are doing something wrong. I am sure there were people way back in the day who accused others of being stupid and wrong when they chose to put their kids IN a public school instead of teaching them at home! I still have some doubts and worries and I wait to see the results of Vinny's schooling, but I cannot dispute the fact that you have not made this decision rashly nor can I dispute the fact that Vinny is already doing so well with his new "teacher." :-) I pray that both of you will continue to do well and I stand behind you as a loving mom should do. I love you for caring for my precious grandsons and wanting and working only for the best for them. I know the Lord will bless you in this endeavor and wants your dad and I to do whatever we can to help you....even if it should be only support and defense of your decision! May anyone who is "nasty" have to eat humble pie when they see how well Vinny does in his school.
Don't you worry your pretty little head about what others say (although it's annoying!) about the choices you make for YOUR family. You are doing what you think is right. That's all that matters - especially when prayer is involved! I say, good vent!
Ultimately, you are the parent, and it is your job (not the job of anyone else) to decide what is best for your children. If it works well for him, great! If not, you try something new. That's what parenting is all about. No one gets it right on the first try anyway.
My husband's mom home-schooled all 12 of her kids. Honestly, they're the only family I know where one of the kids isn't off doing drugs and other dumb things. Hopefully it stays that way. I'm not necessarily attributing that to home school, but I'm sure it helped. They're great kids. They socialize well. They're "normal". They all went to public school starting in high school. Even my mother-in-law got a lot of flack for home schooling her kids. But they're great kids and I think they're better off for having so much time with the family. They all love each other. They rarely argue. They're taught through principles of the gospel... but a lot of this is just good parenting too.
Anyway, I totally support you. And if it gets Vinny where he needs to be right now, that's all that matters.
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