I was diagnosed with postpartum depression in 2007, though with a family history of it and with signs from my youth it was probably just postpartum manifestation of long term issues. I went off the meds within a few months (with Doctor approval) because I can handle my funks without them and I would rather not use meds, get used to them and need heavier and heavier dose down the road.
They usually come and go without much that people not living with me will notice. But this last month was a little longer, with more swings than usual and this last week it all compounded by stuff going on in a friendship.
See, I have always had self esteem issues. And while my wonderful husband has help massively with body issues, I am still the sort of person who, when things go south in friendship or something, makes it all about how awkward or stupid I was. Sometimes still debating things years later when I can't sleep. I know, it's pointless and I am sure I am often wrong, but I do it.
But the point in explaining that is when drama happened in this friendship, I let it get me way more down than it should, and it doesn't help that it was this week of all weeks, when I was in a funk.
Short version, I am doing fine, having my moments but overall still a happy person, playing with my kids, laughing with my husband and not feeling so down all the time.
But a big thank you to the family and friends who have reached out to me lately, letting me know I am loved and cared for and that I have people to turn to when I need them. Just knowing you are there can make those lower moments so much easier to move past. So thank you! :)
