Wishing

Spent a lot of today wishing about things.

 Wishing I had worked harder on my writing in school when I seemed to be at my most creative.

Wishing I had a big, beautiful kitchen so I had the space to do all the cooking and baking I want to do this time of year.

 Wishing I my kids enjoyed walking in the cold for hours so I could do that while it's daylight and gorgeous!

 But most of today was spent wishing I had seen how special a certain person could be to me sooner.

  See, I only just discovered just what a great friend this person is capable of being for me in the last year, more like the last few months. And I have treasured their  friendship.

 But now they are leaving, and wont be back for awhile. It's good for them, and I would never wish anything else for them, but I am going to miss them something terrible.

 And now I worry that when they get back they will have changed, or they might have liked being away so much that they go away again. And I wish I had been cultivating this friendship longer than I have been so it would be stronger and more developed at this point.

 So while I am extremely happy for them, and glad to see them doing what makes them happy... in my more selfish moments I am sad.

 Anyways...... life moves on.