Satan lies

I was cleaning out my Sunday bag today and I found a copy of my talk from this year from church. I read it and it really lifted my spirits and I thought someone out there might be in need of the moral boost it gave me writing it, so I thought I would share it here.

 While many of the scriptures and people quoted are LDS, the core message is for anyone who believes in divine love and the Atonement of Christ.

Truth and Lies

by Jennifer Nuckols

Ensign article Oct 2009.

My dear brothers and sisters, I have been asked to speak to you today, using a wonderful talk by Sister Jennifer Nickols, which can be found in October 2009 Ensign. The title of this talk is Truth and lies.

Brothers and sisters, Satan lies. Somethings are forever, like death, taxes and Satan lying. He knows what he is doing. He was doing it before time was time.

But if we as Latter day saints already know this, why do we talk about it so often? Because he lies so well. Some lies are easier for some of us to see, like claims that God does not exist, that evil things are good or that he, the devil will bring us salvation.

But others are harder to see through, because they cut deep into our weakest point, our self worth.

President Ezra Taft Benson said “Satan is increasingly striving to overcome the Saints with despair, discouragement, despondency, and depression.” and President Uchtdorf has warned that “Satan might even misuse words from the scriptures that emphasize the justice of God, in order to imply that there is no mercy.”

Satan wants us to lose faith, and he has a plan, and he has spent years perfecting it; Attack a person's individual worth and watch him crumble.

I have, as have many of you, fought this fight for years. I have struggled with my weight, with my hair and with my personality not fitting into the “norm”. As a teenager I felt on the outside so much of the time, I became uncomfortable when I was included in things.

The odd thing was, I really had no basis for my insecurity. I am not hound dog ugly, I was only a size 12-14 in school. I had wonderful, loving, supportive parents at home and I had many friends, both LDS and not, who cared deeply for me. But for some reason that was not enough. Something always told me I was not enough. I knew others who were even less “normal” than myself, but I always saw the best in them and I KNEW the Lord did, too. I never doubted the value of my friends and others at school. So why did I doubt myself?

Satan is very good at convincing us that we are right in our thinking because, “Look! You know others are valuable and loved by God, clearly you understand it! So if you feel so worthless, you must be right!”

How often I told myself that. How often I looked at those struggling around me and thought, “They are still so much better than me.”

Thankfully, because of the support I had, I was able to continue on. I did not give into the darker thoughts and desires of my heart. I fought on, believing that if those I loved and respected saw something in me, then I might just have a chance.

It took years, and the loving support of my husband to help me get out of that rut. I still slip in from time to time, but I am mostly in the clear. How did I do this? Sister Nickols said it best in the article, “I have tried to consciously identify my own damaging thoughts and replace them with gospel truths. In so doing, I have developed an increased ability to fight off Satan’s tools of 'despair, discouragement, despondency, and depression.'”

Replace the damaging thoughts with gospel truth. How exactly do we do that?

Well, Sister Nickols gave 5 wonderful examples of the great lies Satan tells us and the gospel truths to dispel them.

I would like to share them with you.

1.LIE: Because of my weaknesses and failings, God is continually disappointed in, frustrated with, and even angry with me.

TRUTH: God loves me and rejoices in me because I am His child.

For me, and for Sister Nickols, the best remedy is to think of our earthly fathers. Or for those who might not have had the best relationship with your fathers, a trusted male figure, a relative or a bishop.

How often have we made mistakes, our poor choices hurt others, and yet these caring men have loved us still?

My dad had a look he had mastered that some how said, “I love you so much, but what you did makes me sad, because I KNOW you can do better.” For a moment I would want to crawl inside myself, but with no word said, unspoken love pouring off of him, I would feel a desire, a NEED to do better. It inspired me, as should the love of our Heavenly Father.

In Heleman 15:3 it says, “yea, the people of Nephi hath he loved, and also hath he chastened them; yea, in the days of their iniquities hath he chastened them because he loveth them.”

That is how our Heavenly Father feels about us. He is sadden by these choices, not disappointed IN us, but FOR us. He wants so much more for us, but He will love us eternally, regardless of our mistakes.

2.LIE: I’m not as righteous, spiritual, attractive, or kind as that other person; therefore, God must love that person more than He loves me.

TRUTH: God knows my individual potential and progress intimately. He does not compare or rank me with His other children.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve said;

God “does not mercilessly measure [His children] against their neighbors. He doesn’t even compare them with each other. His gestures of compassion toward one do not require a withdrawal or denial of love for the other. … I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us —insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions.”

Just as Christ loved all He came in contact with, the sinners, the sick, even those who tortured and crucified Him, God loves all his children. Regardless of those things which Satan and the world would have us use to judge our worth, God loves us all equally.

3.LIE: I need to prove that I’m worth loving by being perfect. Only when I’m perfect will I be able to experience love from God and from others.

TRUTH: Even though I’m not perfect now, I can have constant access to divine love.

I guess God wanted to give me a little reminder about this one today. In the original talk, Sister Bonnie D. Parkin is quoted as saying, “Do we frequently reject the Lord’s love that He pours out upon us in much more abundance than we are willing to receive? Do we think we have to be perfect in order to deserve His love? When we allow ourselves to feel ‘encircled about eternally in the arms of his love’, we feel safe, and we realize that we don’t need to be immediately perfect.”

I say the Lord was speaking to me because many years ago, when I was feeling extremely low and worthless, I entered the seminary building and said a little prayer. I asked the Lord to please show me some sign that He or anyone loved me that day. I open my scriptures at random to D&c 6:20 which reads; “Behold, thou art Oliver, and I have spoken unto thee because of thy desires; therefore treasure up these words in thy heart. Be faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love.”

Whenever I am feeling low, I remember that moment, insert my own name for Oliver's and feel the warmth I so needed that day over a decade ago. Even today it has to power to heal my aching heart.

4.LIE: I’m a terrible failure. I’ll never be good enough because I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

TRUTH: I’m not perfect, but the desires of my heart are good. I can feel inspired to progress.

We will all fail. A lot. Since our marriage nearly 8 years ago, Daniel and I have had the opportunity to teach the youth, ages 11-14, 3 different times. I have told each class, “You are entering the age where you will push boundaries, question what you have known your whole life, and you WILL make mistakes. From now until the end of your time on earth.”

It may sound dark, or upsetting, but in all reality, it is a blessing. Without those many, many mistakes, we cannot learn. Without those early mistakes, we would not have the expirence later in life, when consequences are often much greater.

A few months back, my Mother-in-law gave me a parenting book called Love and Logic. At one point the book said something that surprised me, “Love and Logic parents love it when their children make mistakes. Why? Because the price tags for mistakes made by young children are smaller than those made by teens.” and adults.

Our own mistakes are much like this. We can learn from them, grow stronger. And with the Lord, even our greatest mistakes can be forgiven and He will “remember them no more”. What a great gift we have in the atonement.

But still many of us struggle deeply with the burdens of past mistakes, we labor under the burden of our misdeeds, feeling that until we fully repent and commit our sins no more, we cannot partake in the love of our Father.

Not so. Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “May I speak to those who carry their own load and more, to those buffeted by false insecurity, who, though laboring devotedly in the Kingdom, have recurring feelings of falling forever short. … There is a difference … between being ‘anxiously engaged’ and being over-anxious and thus underengaged. … We can distinguish more clearly between divine discontent and the devil’s dissonance, between dissatisfaction with self and disdain for self. We need the first and must shun the second, remembering that when conscience calls to us from the next ridge, it is not solely to scold but also to beckon.”

Again, as stated before in Heleman, “he chastened them because he loveth them.”

5.LIE: I have too many issues, hang-ups, and past mistakes to be blessed and happy.

TRUTH: No mistake, no personal challenge, no past circumstance is outside of the healing and redemptive power of the Atonement.

Sister Nickols expanded on this much better than I could, she said “The anti-Christs in the Book of Mormon tried to convince people to renounce their faith in Christ. Even though we may profess belief in Christ, when we tell ourselves that we are outside the redemptive power of the Atonement, we are falling prey to a common deception of the greatest anti-Christ, Satan.

In contrast, President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve teaches that “save for those few who defect to perdition after having known a fulness, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no offense exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. … Restoring what you cannot restore, healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and you cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement of Christ.”

In The Miracle of Forgiveness, by President Spencer W. Kimball, it says, “There is a glorious miracle awaiting every soul who is prepared to change. Repentance and forgiveness make brilliant day of darkest night...The essence of the miracle of forgiveness is that it brings peace to the previously anxious, restless, frustrated, perhaps tormented soul...[and] those who heed the call [to repentance] , whether members or non-members...can be partakers of the miracle...God will wipe away from their eyes, the tears of anguish, and remorse... and smiles of satisfaction will replace the worried anxious look.”

But the most important thing is to remember to call upon the Holy Spirit when questions of self doubt, like the 5 listed in the talk, and others come into your heart and mind. Ask by the power of the Spirit to know the truth, for “the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be”.

Brothers and sisters, I bare unto you my testimony that Lord does love all this children. That Christ died for us. I would like to leave you with this thought:

“if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee,...The Son of Man hath descended below them all” for us. He has suffered for us. He has made ready our mansions, He eagerly awaits us. We have but to come unto Him and accept His sacrifice and repent.

If we were not worth it, why would He have ever suffered so greatly for us? I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

(If you know someone who might need this message, feel free to share)

Education Update

Anyone who pays attention to this blog knows the choice we made for Vinny's education. If you somehow missed this, we chose on-line charter school.

 Because of that choice, Vinny was able to start school as a Kindergartener by name, but skip the K curriculum, instead starting at 1st grade. He flew through the program, completing 1st grade only a month after the second semester began. He has now started 2nd grade and is slated to complete the first semester by years end.

 But some people in Oregon don't like this. They are trying to reduce the number of kids allowed in these programs, cut funding and create a special task force just for watch dogging the on-line charter schools.

 The major force behind these bills is the OEA, a group who claims to be out for what is best for teachers and students. But if that is really the goal, why are they attacking a system that is helping students prosper and a place teachers love to work (I have spoken to multiple ORCA and OVRA teachers about this)?

 Why is it that the OEA and other "for kids" groups are against these others options in education? Is it because they have less control over on-line charter? Because they cannot box all kids into the same mold? Or is it because they see where they are failing and it is not because of a lack of funding, but instead a lack of effort on the part of the administrators in charge of budgeting?  (On-line students get less funding than brick and mortar ones, yet more often than not, do better in school)


 Now please keep in mind, I have nothing against teachers. Many of my friends and family are teachers. They work hard and do their best for their students. But if they are locked into a failing system, they can only do so much.

 I am also not saying on-line education is for everyone. Many need the experience of a B&M education, or would thrive either way so they go to school with their friends. But it is such a wonderful program for others. And as a parent, each of us should have the choice of how our children are educated.

 So I would ask all my friend in Oregon and around the country, if you get the chance to vote for or support a bill, please, give parents the choice for what is best for their child. Support school choice!

Babies, babies, babies!

So many of my friends have just had babies or are pregnant. As a 27 year old Mormon woman you might think this is giving me the baby crazies, but no.

 Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE  babies, as my friend Rachel can attest by my complete willingness to hold and snuggle her little guy, but I am not getting baby hungry.

 When Vinny was born I could still feel a little something missing in my heart. Our family wasn't whole. After Will was born, that went away. We have prayed and considered on and it still isn't there.
 Which is strange for me because I always wanted a girl, but now I have no desire to try for one. I am content in spoiling my nieces and letting them play with my Polly Pockets and Barbie dolls.

So after a lot of thinking and planning we have decided that we have our little family. If that changes down the road, there is always adoption, but now we just don't think there is anyone else waiting to be a Rodgers/Prychun.

 Now why am I bringing this up? It is not to suggested what we are doing is right for everyone, it is not an attack on anyone seeking a large family. I bring it up because I have gotten looks, eye rolls, and "Well, we all make plans.." and that really annoys me.

 Not that anyone who I know reads my blog has been saying anything like this. But I has really gotten under my skin in recent months. People have asked me "When are you having another? Will is already almost 3!" and when I tell them our plans they sigh, one even scoffed like that was a bad choice.

People outside the church often give members grief for having so many kids, and people understandably get upset by it, thinking, "What business is it of theirs if I have 3 kids or 30?" But some of those same people proceed to treat those in the church with smaller families as if they are doing it wrong. Who are you to decide what is right for someone else? You do not receive revelation for anyone's family but your own.


 Anyways, a bit rambly and certainly a ranting post, the point of it all is, church or no church, kids or no kids, 3 or 30, every family is a family and size really doesn't count. What counts is the love and I would add sanity of the members of that family. Love them for who they all are, respect their choice and leave them to their own family plan.

He's going to be socially retarded!!

No one wants to hear that people think they are parenting wrong. But it is especially painful and irritating when you have thought, studied, prayed, discussed with family and friends and done everything else you can think of before finalizing your decision and then you're told you don't know what you're doing, you're going to hurt your kid or that everything you've done is in vain because you are wrong anyways.

 I am pretty sure all of my readers know by now, but next month Vinny is starting school. But he will not be going to a brick and mortar school with standard classes, he will be attending Connections Academy; an on-line charter school program.

 We started looking into this option a year ago because Vinny seemed so far ahead of other kids his age. We looked into it and found that in Oregon, barring absolute genius IQ, a child cannot legally start school until they are 5 years old. While this was a disappointment, we took it upon ourselves to start his education anyways, through a very simplified home school process. It wasn't daily, but we tried to focus his life around learning even more than he already had on his own.

 We spent the next year researching on-line charter, home school and standard school options for the 12-13 school year. Nothing looked right to us except CA. We found out what Vinny was expected to know before or learn during Kindergarten and we were shocked. He was well beyond what they said he should know AFTER his first year.

 So I did what any parent would, I looked into a placement test, to see if I was just overly proud of son or if he really was that far ahead. According to the placement test, his knowledge is equivalent to about half way through the 1st grade already.

 Now, in Oregon, he cannot legally be a 1st grader until he is 6. So public school was out as option as I knew that even with the best teachers, he would grow bored and likely stagnate. Home school was never really on our minds as I was not the best student and focusing can be hard for me with all I have going on right now.

 So after all that, we decided, proudly and without hesitation, that we would enroll him in CA this year. While he is legally a kindergartener, all the work they sent us is at a 1st grade level. We got it 2 1/2 weeks ago and he is already 3 weeks into the work books and other non PC material. And school doesn't even for start in 3 weeks. And he is loving it!

 But the reason I am writing this is not to brag, or even detail the process. It is to educate others on my choice. Despite feeling like we put a lot of effort into this choice and knowing it's what's best for Vinny, we have received a lot of negativity from people. People who seem to also be sorely misinformed on the school and programs, yet feel they have a right to berate me for it anyways.

Now, not everyone has been nasty, some, like my Mom, seemed to think this was just home school. But it is not, I am not the teacher, more like a teacher's aid. Vinny has a real teacher who teaches him and about 20-30 other kids, he will use video and audio to communicate with her. She will check his work and relay any possible issues to me. I will mark his attendance, but they will check is on-line time to be sure. He will be graded, he will have real work. Heck, we got a huge box of books and workbooks that are  the same brand Salem-Keizer Schools use.

 My Mom was also worried about Vinny's social interactions (hence the title of this post) as were many others. But CA worries about their social growth as well. They will gather on-line together, have filed trips together and class projects and assignments. They encourage kids working together in group settings.

 Exercise was also an expressed concern. We were shipped a kids yoga DVD and a jump rope and I can assure you (as can my floors) that even in the dead of winter, this kid does not lack activity.

The worst things came from others. In an argument, after expressing the reasons  I have listed here, someone said, "None of that matters. None of that makes me think you know better than the teachers." Which told me they knew nothing about CA and it's programs, and they clearly didn't truly listen to a word I had to say. They had made of their opinion based on whatever they had heard and chose to judge me and my parenting on that alone. I was told by others that I would stunt him socially, that I was making him an idiot. That I was a moron for even considering it.

 But the very worst I heard was not directed at me. Another mom who's son will be in the 1st grade class with Vinny, was threaten by her ex-husband. He threaten to seek sole custody of their kids if she enrolled them. He didn't research, he didn't think it through, he jumped the gun and hurt her and their kids who are excited about this school year.

 The reason I am putting this out there is not to bash anyone or attack anyone, but to enlighten people on this choice and let people know that there are other options.  If you want to know more, or doubt what I say, visit their site, request a brochure, go to a info event. Please, educate yourselves before thinking that I or anyone else is making the wrong call.

He is my son, and I want what is best for him. And that is what I am doing.

http://www.connectionsacademy.com/home.aspx

(P.s My Mom is on board now, FYI, and it's all good. Or I never would have listed who it was I talked to!)

I swear I didn't die!

Wow, it's been awhile since I visited you all. I guess I have just been REALLY busy. But I am back, at least for now!

 To update all y'all:

 Vinny is officially starting Kindergarten with Oregon Connections Academy this year. He is going to be starting with 1st grade work after he flew by the Kindergarten placement test. I mean FLEW by.

 He is also almost done with his swim lessons this summer, which he rocked! The past 2 years have been a struggle. We were so excited last year when right near the end of a month of lessons he finally started doing bobs and letting go of the wall. This year he is working the kick board, practicing arm strokes and kicking of the wall and "swimming" (arms and legs going at the same time with face in the water) for about 4 feet. We are just so happy he is finally getting the hang of it and enjoying it for once! We are really proud of him.

 William is talking like a crazy person (literally) and learning more and more each day. He is learning to count to 10 and does it about 40% of the time, but like any toddler, he often skips numbers or repeats them.

 The little bug is also having something akin to Night Terrors, we think it's because he's stopped taking naps and is too exhausted at bed time so we are going to have to start forcing naps again, which bites, but it's better than what he is going through.

 Dan got a new job with the state, which is good for the wallet but a pain for my day. He works until 5pm now so I am the only one at the shop 4 days a week. It's only 6 hours, but when you have been working 4 hours or less for 3 years, then it's a drag, at least for awhile.

 But he is rocking the job, only 2 weeks in and he has proven himself a hard worker, a smart worker and someone they want to keep around! Which makes me proud.

 Then there is me. I haven't lost the weight I have wanted, I am going to be one of the last to finish the Triathlon this Saturday and I am not feeling the heat. Ugh.

 But on a good note, we have been going on a trail walk/hike every Monday as a family and it has helped my jogging stamina. We also have been eating better and working on filling healthy meals but it's hard when Dan thinks that carrots, peas, corn and iceberg lettuce are the only vegetables worth eating. We are trying to convert him.

 But that is an update on the family and life. I will be trying to get back onto this more often, but I have no idea when I will have the time come school. I thought my life was busy BEFORE I had to keep Vinny on task with school. I think I am in for a shock.

Potty Time!

So we started a more serious line of potty training today. Underpants.

 I  decided since Will has never really cared about being wet or dirty, and Vinny never did either, I needed to start on underpants for some time every day. We started this morning.

 About 20 minutes after I put him in them (having had him sit on the potty for a bit first) I came into the room and found he had tried to pull his pants off, but the ankle part was still on his feet and the rest we dragging behind, he was also walking  bowlegged looking down. When he saw me he pointed to the underwear and grunted uncomfortably.

 I guess my idea worked because he didn't like being wet when it was all down his legs. I stuck him on the potty right away and he peed a little bit more so he got to celebrate going potty in the potty! I think he might actually connected the 2 if we keep this up.

 So moms out there, any other ideas that might help? I looked up some potty training in a weekend ideas but most suggest letting them be naked so they notice or as a reward, but my boys HATE being naked so I don't think that will work very well. Any advice would be appreciated!

Rights

I keep hearing about this "war on women" that conservatives (like myself) are waging. And it gets me a little flustered. I am a woman and a conservative and I don't feel like any part of me is waging war against any other part of me.

Which gets me onto another subject: Rights.

While I agree that women have a right to use birth control, should they want to, I don't feel they have a right to it as professed by many loud liberals lately. (alteration much?)

A right to life doesn't mean the government is responsible with providing your life, a right to happiness does not mean the government needs to make you happy. A right to arms does not mean the government must give you a gun on your 18th birthday. So why is that people today think that a right to food/birth control/jobs/healthcare means that the government should be providing it for you?

A right is something the government cannot take away, a right is something that should you desire, it is within your power, through your effort, to obtain. I have the right to free speech, should I choose to clam up and live in solitude never uttering another word to another person I still have that right, though I don't have to exercise it.

People seem to think something more is owed to them simply for existing, and that it is the government's job to provide it if they cannot/will not get it themselves. A co-worker of Dan's complained that her meth using son could not (while using) provide for his food or food for his children, stating food is a right and they should be able to get it from the government.

Food is a right? Well, yes, government has no place denying you food, but they have no responsibility to provide it for you either. Individuals are welcome to help one another, and I don't have an issue with providing temporary aid to tax paying citizen who may fall on hard times, the key here is "temporary". Generations on welfare are a sure sign of national and governmental failure that spans decades.

As a nation we are giving up our responsibilities to ourselves and our families in favor of these so called "rights". But to get those rights, we must give up those that truly matter. I for one do not enjoy the idea of giving up my right to liberty in favor of a government hand out.